Me: Eli, you are going to try out your new private school today.
You will be there for 3 hours.
Eli: Mommy, I am so excited.
Me: You can’t walk in there and sing "I'm sexy and I know
it". You also need to go to the bathroom if you need to pass gas.
Your farts seem to turn into poop these days.
Eli: What if I dance like this?
Me:
No, they do not want to see you spank your fanny or do the sprinkler
dance.
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