Thursday, September 25, 2014

On the Sailboat with Daddy’s New Boss and His Wife

Eli:  Why aren't you wearing pants?

Mrs. Boss:  I have a bathing suit under my tunic.

Eli:  Mommy, she looks like she is just wearing panties.

Mrs. Boss:  Would you like something to drink?

Eli:  I need to drink out of a pirate cup.

Mrs. Boss:  I have a silver challis.

Eli:  It needs to be filled with rum.

Mr. Boss:  Eli do you like to sail?

Eli:  You need to make my Daddy the Manager.

Monday, September 15, 2014

Every Man's Fantasy

Eli:  Mommy do you know what my dream is?

Me:  Have no idea.

Eli:  I want to take a poop on the toilet and you rub my back while I eat a sandwich.

Me:  This will never, ever happen.