Life in the Man Cave

Eli:  Mommy, we are heading to the Man Cave.  Me, Daddy and Dakota are going downstairs to eat pickles and fart.  No girls allowed.

If I Was Your Boyfriend

Me:  Eli what is this?

Eli:  It's a Candy Cane letter from one of the girls in my class.

Me:  You are super sweet.  You are really funny and a great dancer…

Eli:  Mommy I can dance like Justin Beaver.  Watch this.

Mommy:  Uh huh and you are dancing like this in your new school?

Eli:  Oh yeah baby.  Boom.

Climbing the Ladder

Eli:  Mommy who is the best boy in the whole wide world?

Me:  Hummmm…Who is the best Mommy in the whole wide world?

Eli:  Jake, Ben and Joe's Mommy.

Me:  Oh Aunt Lee Lee is number one.  Then who is number two?

Eli:  The Mommy of Jesus.

Me:  Okay I can't compete with that one.  Who is number three?

Eli:  Grand-Mommy.

Me:  Can I at least make it in the top five?

Eli:  Fourth is that woman who owned my old daycare.

Me:  Mrs. Tatum?  Not sure I want to know who number five is now.

Eli:  I will let you be number five Mommy.  You are at the bottom of my list.

Navigating the Waters

 

Me:  How was school today?

Eli:  I got lots of friends now and the girls really like me.  One of them doesn't like me though.

Me:  What did you do?

Eli:  I was trying to talk to her and I said "But" but she thought I called her a "Butt".  She said she wasn't talking to me anymore and then I said "But" and she thought I called her a "Butt" again.  

Me:  Welcome to the world of girls.

And in this Corner of the Ring

Me:  Your teacher wrote in your notebook "Eli is still learning to keep his hands to himself".

Eli:  Mommy, you do need your hands to fight.

O Captain! My Captain!

Me:  Eli, where are all the clementines I just bought?

Eli:  Mommy I used the black marker and created my own army.