Eli: Mommy I may have gotten in trouble on the bus.
Me: Not the bus again! What did you do?
Eli: We were playing sucker punch and I got a kid's shoulder.
Me: Did any of the other kids KNOW they were playing sucker punch?
Me: That's called "assault". Quit touching other kids!
Eli: It was a surprise and that's how you win.
Me: Go to your room. Mommy has to mentally prepare for the school's sucker punch.