Faces of Death

Eli:  Mommy you got me in trouble today at school!

Me:  What did I do?

Eli:  You put these jeans on me this morning and they said I can't wear them at a Christian school.

Me:  Honey I thought I put all of your death/skeleton/pirate wear on the other side of the closet.

Eli:  Well you must have accidentally grabbed the wrong pants Mommy.

Me:  Will move your devil britches to the appropriate corner.

The Next Airbender

Doctor:  Well Eli has strep, double ear infection, and pneumonia in his left lung.

Eli:  Mommy we have to go now.  There is a puddle in the parking lot and I need to practice my "Airbender" moves.

All in a Name

Eli:  Mommy I am going to start a rock band named Rotten Chocolate.

Me:  That's a cool name for a band.

Eli:  My name will be Kid Caramel.

Not for Fish Bait

Eli:  Wormy and Fluffy are going to play computer games with me.

Me:  Daddy will be in the backyard filling up the ten holes you dug up to find your new pets.

The Sweet Taste of Honey

Eli:  Mommy, I have something to tell you.

Me:  Okay…

Eli:  I may have licked a bee's nest.

Me:  Huh?

Eli:  I was trying to get the honey out.

Me:  We don't have honeybees at the house.  You were licking a wasp nest.

Sick Pirate

Doctor:  Well Eli has strep, an ear infection and a 101 degree temperature.

Me:  Knew something was up when the teacher said he had his best day ever at school.

Never Stop Improving

Eli:  Mommy my head hurts and there is a scape on it.

Me:  You have carpet burn on your head.  Maybe next time you will listen to me when I tell you to quit running through the hanging carpets at Lowe's.