The Daycare Don

 Me:  How was the girl bully today?

Eli:  Fine.

Me:  Did y'all talk and work things out?

Eli:  No.

Me:  Then how did you work it out?

Eli:  Mommy, I have people working for me?

Me:  Um, what?

Eli:  I have people who do the work for me.  I don't have to do or say anything to her.  They do it for me.

Me:  This is not going to work little Godfather.

Eli:  My best worker failed first grade.

Me:  No.  You are going to stop these shenanigans right now.

Eli:  It's just a gang Mommy.

Eastern Shore Philosophy

Me:  Where are you going?

Eli:  Doing what a man has to do.

Me:  Okay – going to poop.

Eli:  It makes a man look angry.  But, he really isn't.  He is happy.

Me:  Okay Confucius, wipe your fanny this time.

Full Circle

Me:  Eli we are really going to work on that smart mouth of yours.

Eli:  This is the way I am.

Me:  Well things are going to change.

Eli:  Did I not come from you?

Me:  Yes.

Eli:  Looks like the only person you can be mad at is yourself since you created all of this.