All in a Name

Eli:  Mommy I am going to start a rock band named Rotten Chocolate.

Me:  That's a cool name for a band.

Eli:  My name will be Kid Caramel.

Not for Fish Bait

Eli:  Wormy and Fluffy are going to play computer games with me.

Me:  Daddy will be in the backyard filling up the ten holes you dug up to find your new pets.

The Sweet Taste of Honey

Eli:  Mommy, I have something to tell you.

Me:  Okay…

Eli:  I may have licked a bee's nest.

Me:  Huh?

Eli:  I was trying to get the honey out.

Me:  We don't have honeybees at the house.  You were licking a wasp nest.

Sick Pirate

Doctor:  Well Eli has strep, an ear infection and a 101 degree temperature.

Me:  Knew something was up when the teacher said he had his best day ever at school.

Never Stop Improving

Eli:  Mommy my head hurts and there is a scape on it.

Me:  You have carpet burn on your head.  Maybe next time you will listen to me when I tell you to quit running through the hanging carpets at Lowe's.